{"id":283,"date":"2014-09-10T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-09-10T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cehupnl.com\/2014\/09\/10\/el-amor-a-si-mismo-es-la-respuesta\/"},"modified":"2014-09-10T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-09-10T17:00:00","slug":"el-amor-a-si-mismo-es-la-respuesta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cehupnl.com\/en\/2014\/09\/10\/el-amor-a-si-mismo-es-la-respuesta\/","title":{"rendered":"self love is the answer"},"content":{"rendered":"
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After the last conversation with my "guide" this phrase haunted my mind. "Love is the answer." If what we lacked was love, maybe we could start giving love to each other. I thought it was a brilliant conclusion...<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\u2013 Brilliant yes, but incomplete \u2013 I answer. The phrase should be: "Love by oneself<\/b> is the answer".<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
\u2013 Very selfish, right?<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
- Of course. Selfishness is a virtue, not a defect as you have been led to believe.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
True love is only possible between two complete people. If you bring two people together with a void inside them, what you have is the perfect recipe for codependency. Which is the opposite of love.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
One will be demanding the other to fill the void it has and the other will do the same. Neither of them has anything to give the other.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
-A beggar asking another beggar.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
-That's what happens in \u201clove\u201d relationships.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
What they call love is a kind of agreement where you own someone and that person owns you. <\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
Because you have based your worth on the other person, you live in terror, controlling their every move, jealous, insecure.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
You have sacrificed your freedom for comfort and the illusion of security. You sign a contract in which you agree to be with your partner until death do you part, no matter that you no longer love her, no matter that your relationship is a martyrdom, no matter that you have sacrificed your individuality, your own life. It is more important for you to have someone by your side than to be happy.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
-The two need each other.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\u2013 That's right, however, you can't love anyone if you need them. If you need him then you put up with everything, you humiliate yourself and betray yourself as long as he doesn't leave. If you need her, you control her, you manipulate her not because you love her but because you have vested interests in her.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
\u2013 And therefore the eternal conflicts. Always wanting the other person to be how we want them to be. Do what we want you to do.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
That's right, wanting to possess her and that, my love, is a terrible lack of respect. We cannot own anyone and no one can own us. We are individuals, not things; we are emperors, not slaves.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
\u2013 Now I understand what you are saying about being the beginning and end of my existence: To be able to love and respect the other, I first need to come to love and learn to respect myself.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\u2013 That's right, to be healthy, strong, complete, satisfied. Have something to share in the relationship. Be full of love for yourself, so full that you have plenty to give to others.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
\u2013 I need to feel worthy of that love they offer me or I will look for ulterior motives. I will not be able to understand that someone loves me, if I despise myself.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\u2013 Of course, if you hate yourself, and there is someone who wants to love you, you distrust her. "It can't be" you think, "or she's crazy or blind, can't she see that I'm worthless?"<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
\u2013 Just as I spend belittling and criticizing myself, I do it with her. I need to be at peace with myself first in order to be at peace with someone.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\u2013 You got it. Whether you like it or not, everything begins and ends with you. If you are your worst enemy, how do you explain someone being kind and loving to you? If you don't lower yourself from useless and good for nothing.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
\u2013 It takes a lot of maturity to love. Well, what about all the romantic movies and all the love songs?<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\u2013 They all talk about codependency, not love.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
- LOL. I don't believe you.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
- Nope? \u201c\u2026without you I die\u2026 you are my reason for existing\u2026 if you leave you take my joy and my happiness\u2026 I am nothing without you\u2026 you fill my life\u2026 '<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
\u2013 Very good, very good, I agree.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\u2013 People learn what they know about love through movies, songs, romantic magazines and disastrous soap operas. They do not realize that the model they present there is an insult to their integrity<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
\u2013 The protagonist of comedies endures deception, injustice and abuse. All for the supposed love she feels for the leading man. <\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
\u2013 He supports everything because he has no center, he has no self-love. Because he's terribly codependent.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
\u2013 So the \u201clove of your life\u201d is another carrot, another wrong solution to our inner emptiness.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
- Exact. One more carrot. Only two emperors can love each other, two full and complete people. Two conscious people. And of those\u2026 there are very few.<\/o:p><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n


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El amor a si mismo es la respuesta<\/div>
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