Part 3 of 3. By Manuel Morin…
Regardless of the theory on which the work you do with an expert in therapy is based, the points that really favor the closure of pending or unfinished business are:
First, that the facts, the memories, come out, even if these are difficult to accept (clarify the figure and separate it from the background). Allow yourself to receive help from a therapist who takes you from the unconscious to the conscious. That takes you to the present where you are and where you can really do something. May it take you to where everything that affected you is, where everything you experienced that was painful and traumatic is found, so that you identify what you repressed and left “hidden”.
Second, that you accept that all those experiences were real; yes, they happened to you, can you live without judgment? You will understand that you were not guilty and you will be able to start a closing work to forgive and forgive yourself and experience how the energy flows through your life again, feel how everything begins and ends. You will have put aside what was pending, what blocked you and what did not allow you to fully experience your life.
Third and last, that you work with the material that arises so that you can solve it. Working means having an open disposition to discover yourself and be discovered; start the process of closing everything that has affected you and then learn to live splendidly adapting to change and accepting yourself.
I want to give you some examples of how unresolved experiences affect your life.
What affected your self-esteem that does not allow you to accept yourself and break the fear of loving? Why do you feel like you don't deserve it? Do you accept your sexual preferences? Who protected you as a child? What were your parents' attitudes toward homosexuality? Were there games of the aggressive and victim in your family? Did your family tend to keep secrets from each other about past events? What does not allow you to come out of the closet” and accept what you are?
Do you have blurred images of manipulations to your body by relatives or significant figures when you were a child? Do you have healthy relationships? How do you feel in them? Do you feel that there is always an emptiness in you, as if something had been taken from you? And this does not allow you to relate with affective intensity? Do you feel that they can harm you if they love you?
Are you aggressive with your children and then feel guilty? Do you repeat the aggressions of which you were the object? Suddenly you mistreat your partner and you don't know why you harm what you love the most? Do you tend to somatize, invent illnesses and then suddenly live them? Ask yourself, have you always allowed them to walk all over you? Do you feel resentment and do not allow yourself to express it for fear of your aggression and instead turn it towards yourself, because it is easier to harm yourself than to express all the contained hatred?
Do you continue to blame yourself for the lost child and abandon other children or do you overprotect them because of the fantasy you have that something bad could happen to them? Do you try to break your relationships to pay the guilt of not having done enough to save that person you lost and loved deeply?
When you were little, did they make you believe that you were worthless? Did they compare you, did they make you less and you find yourself wanting to be the best than everyone even at the cost of your health? Do you sometimes want to be above others? Are you critical and think that no one is better than you and that everyone is a fool? And beware that someone thinks the opposite because he is against you, he is an enemy because he cannot become as good as you.
Do you want me to follow him? I could give you as many as people I know.
Has the twenty already fallen? I want to tell you that it is possible to resolve the pending, of course it is possible to make a genuine attempt and you will be able to free yourself from all this:
Without awareness there is nothing, not even knowledge of anything.