– I continue with my example.
Upon reaching adolescence, this person already has a deformed and diminished self-image. Her original beauty has been covered with insecurities, her capacities are already covered with traumas and complexes. Self-esteem, natural in all babies, has been transformed into self-hatred, into the certainty that they have to “fight” to be someone important, that they have to show the world their worth, that they have to fight to get ahead.
– You talk about special cases, in which the parents do not do a good job…
– I'm talking about all of us! – Our parents transmitted to us their fears, their insecurities, their expectations, their misconceptions of life. They loaded onto us their failed dreams, their grudges, their limiting beliefs.
– Looking at it well, you're right but they had no choice. They were not aware of what they were doing. The safest thing is that our grandparents did the same to them.
– That's right… let me continue with my example?
– Excuse me, please.
– When our little friend is the right age, according to the criteria of his parents, he attends catechism, already feeling bad about himself, carrying a bag of misconceptions about himself and life and what does he learn there? That he was born tainted by original sin: a sin that he did not commit, that there is a man who died on the cross because of him… let me make a list:
What dust it is and to dust it will become.
What is a sinner?
That your sexuality and the energy that moves it is dirty and sinful?
That nothing good can come out of man.
That he has to be saved from himself.
He learns that someone died because of him, because of him, because of his great fault.
They fill him with fears about hell and his motivations to be good.
 That after death, there is paradise.
They give him a bunch of rules that he didn't choose, that didn't come from his conscience or from his heart. He follows them out of fear, because someone told him.
– You speak as if you were against religion. When you talk like that about religious concepts, I feel very scared.
– Of course you feel afraid! That's part of the way you were programmed, you were instilled with a terrible fear of questioning religious beliefs. They told you that is also a sin!
– And it is not a sin?
What do you think?
– I don't know, I feel… a little confused.
– Do you want him to continue with the example or do we stop him? Shall we continue?
-Yes, let me understand this well once and for all...
Let's say that our hero becomes an ordinary adult, that is to say: unsure of himself, with a deplorable concept, repressed in his sexuality and his joy for life and full of fears and doubts. In these conditions, he desperately searches for something that makes him feel good, that makes him feel valuable, worthy of being loved.
- No no no. I believe that about myself, that I always felt so bad. Of others that it is clear that they have traumas in their childhood but of all???
– Everyone feels that way, everyone.
– Do you think my brother is also a winner?
– Your brother too. Those who appear not to feel this way are compensating, that is, they calm their anguish with something that is socially accepted. Why do you think your brother works sixteen hours a day, six days a week? Because he feels happy with who he is?
– No, I guess not.
– Your job is what gives you a fleeting sense of worth.
– This great need for acceptance, recognition, love. It is used by others:
What is it that will make you feel good about yourself? The car that I sell.
What is the one that will make you feel beautiful? The fashion, the perfumes and the accessories that I offer you.
Are you overwhelmed by feeling repressed all the time? I have the solution: Bacardi, Corona, Johnny Walker.
Do you feel rejected? My credit card is “the key to the world”.
Do you want to be someone in life? Computer courses, English.
Caught? Come to the Marlboro world.
– And no one notices the manipulation?
– They are so used to it that they no longer notice the lack of respect and the insult to their intelligence, they are so stupid that they swallow everything.
– It cannot be that we are so idiotic as a society.
– It is enough to watch television for a while to know that I am right. Everything they sell you is related to your feelings of low self-esteem and your need for love.
– I refuse to believe it.

– You can deny it all you want but, you are starving… hungry for recognition, acceptance, love. You go through life doing circus, maroma and theater just to get others to see you, recognize you, admire you, respect you, love you. You look for something in others that they cannot give you because they do not have it themselves, and if by pure chance someone is able to give it to you, you cannot receive it. You don't feel worthy, you don't feel worthy of being loved, respected, recognized.