Mistake #11
TALK “TO” THE CLIENT
Some Coaches talk to people in general, including their clients, instead of flowing easily in a natural, give and take way, carrying on a two-way conversation.
These Coaches don't realize it until someone points it out to them.
Periodically ask your customers if you are talking to them or if you are able to be with them and have a conversation.
Having a mentor who can point this out to you is another good reason to have a Mentor Coach.
Mistake #12
GIVE UNCONVINCING ADVICE
Some advice is so outdated, soft or so ineffective that the Coach should be ashamed to give it.
The solution is to work with a Coach who is up-to-date, progressive and wise enough to learn from other like-minded colleagues.
And, read current books and magazines, so that you are current.
If you don't, you're in the recycling bin.
Mistake #13
BE A MOUSE
iiiik! iiiik! It is one thing to be docile and patient and another thing to be timid or like a mouse.
Sometimes it is a limitation or personal style. Other times, the Coach lacks self-confidence or has not been properly trained.
The trick is to have access to a wide range of communication styles; from quiet to loud, from patience to challenge, from sensitivity to initiator.
Most clients want a Coach who is fearless.
Mistake #14
WAIT TO SAY WHAT YOU THINK
Most Coaches hesitate to share their intuition/thought until they are more sure of what they feel, think, and wait for the evidence or the right words to say and share it.
Coaches are also afraid of offending the client, so they suppress the negative reactions they are having at the moment.
Clients deserve to hear your thoughts the moment something occurs to you. Share it professionally but don't keep it to yourself.
Mistake #15
EXPECT TOO LITTLE FROM THE CUSTOMER
You will not know how much the client can really do until you ask him 3 times for something much greater than what he exposed you at the beginning.
In other words, double/triple the goal and see what kind of response you get. Ask again.
In some cases, don't take no for an answer if you think the customer is up to the task but scared.
Remember, they are customers, not children or friends. They pay you to ask and expect a lot from them.
Mistake #16
FALLING INTO A PATERNALISTIC ROLE
Most clients do not know in what role to place their Coach;
A coach? A friend? A father?
It is our task to teach the client to work with us as a collaborative partner in his life.
You can tell you are being patronizing when:
• The tone of your voice is like that of a parent speaking to a child.
• You care more about the success of the client than they do about themselves.
• You try to protect the client from life and from themselves.
• You see the client as a child, helpless.
Mistake #17
PRESSING TOO MUCH ON THE CUSTOMER
To what extent can you pressure the client and that Coaching continues to have to do with his life and not with yours?
You can tell you're pushing too hard when:
• You feel tired after the session.
• The client is resisting and fighting against your pressure.
• You are convinced that your way is the right thing to do.
• You feel frustrated by the slowness of the client.
• You get angry, you get heated and you want to be right during the session.
Solution? Discuss it with the client and/or walk away. Let the client lead the coaching for a while.
Mistake #18
NEED CUSTOMER PAYMENT
If financially you are very tight and you cannot afford to lose a client's payment, you will not be able to fully Coach clients because you will not be able to afford it.
The trick is to have more billing 50% than you need to cover professional and personal expenses. This provides a good buffer that allows you to Coach from the heart, not from the wallet.
Mistake #19
BLINDLY ACCEPT THE CLIENT'S GOALS
Very few clients are clear about their goals at the beginning, so take your time to make sure you (and the client) are clear on the best possible goals rather than the first goals presented.
Aim for values-based goals, whenever possible.
Encourage the client to let go of impossible dreams.
If there are too many goals, it is quite possible that the client's personal needs are not being met or their integrity is weak. (Really.)
Mistake #20
MAKE TOO MUCH EFFORT
In your will to serve, perhaps you try too hard to:
• Make a Difference
• Do proper coaching
• Pressuring the client to change/evolve
• Keep the customer motivated and focused
You'll know you're trying too hard when you feel tired or frustrated and the customer resists.
If the client is fighting against you, ask him why and let him lead the coaching during the session.