An important aspect of truly loving a person is being present, even if it is not an easy thing to do. If you are not present,
How can you love?
Being present is an art. The question that arises is:
Do you have time to love?
A twelve-year-old boy whose father asked him one day: "Son, what would you like me to give you for your birthday?"
The boy did not know how to tell him because his father was a very rich man who could buy him anything he asked for. But that boy only wanted the presence of his father because since he was always so busy, he did not have time to take care of his wife or his son. Wealth is an obstacle to love. When you're rich, you want to stay rich, and you end up spending all your time and energy every day to preserve that wealth. If his father had known what true love was, he would have gone out of his way to spend time with his son and his wife.
The best gift you can offer to the person you love is your true presence.
What do you have to do to be really present?
Those who have practiced meditation know that meditating is above all about being present: to yourself, to the ones you love, to life.
A very simple way to practice meditation is to use your breath consciously:
– “When you inhale, you can think I know that I am inhaling”.
– “By exhaling, I know that I am exhaling”.
If you do it with a little concentration, you can be really present, because in everyday life it is very unusual for the body and mind to be united. The body is usually there, but the mind is somewhere else. Perhaps you are regretting a past situation, or worried about the future or your plans, or full of anger or jealousy. So your mind is not really there with your body.
If the boy's father had known, he would have consciously breathed in and out, and after a minute or two he would have walked over to his son, looked at him with a smile, and said:
"My dear, I am here for you."
It is the best gift you can offer to the person you love.